By C. Nicole Mason

Lately you cannot turn on the television without some version of baby daddy or mama drama played out on talk shows, with black men and women usually at the center of the heated discussion for all the world to see. The fate of children too often hinging on four now infamous words—You are not the father!

Sometimes upon hearing the news, men do the electric slide or a back flip in celebration. For their part, women often run off the stage screaming bloody murder and the host, who is unfazed by the situation as he has seen it hundreds of times, suggests that he will test others if she so chooses.

While this might seem like pure spectacle and entertainment, it has many wondering about the state of black family and black love in America in the time of the Obamas.

The Obamas and the Black Family

Until the election of Barack Obama, America was not privy to the everyday lives of black families outside of television shows like Good Times, The Cosby Show and, most recently, My Wife and Kids. For the most part, middle and upper middle-class black families lived under the radar and were largely out of public view. Poor and low-income families, however, were hyper-visible. The reason in part stems from the contradictions in the public perception of black families, where they are largely classed as dysfunctional, broken, or non-existent.

Despite the efforts of black intellectuals, scholars, and others to challenge many of the stereotypes of the black family in American culture and media, the negative images have persisted and remain largely intact. As the country’s First Family, the Obamas present an opportunity for the nation to examine the meaning of family in America. It also opens up the door for other black middle-class families to come of the closet, as it were, and to become more visible.

Not the Cleavers or the Huxtables

The Obamas are not the Cleavers, Evans’ or the Huxtables. Unlike their television counterparts, the Obamas are a millennium family with worries and concerns that seem relatable, or like ours. Up until a few years ago, they struggled with issues of how to make ends meet, juggled work-family demands, and during the holidays traveled from house to house to celebrate with family.

And Michelle Obama is not aspiring to June Cleaver status. In a recent interview, when asked about her favorite recipe, she replied, “You know, cooking isn’t one of my things.” Unconcerned by the probable gasp from baking mothers across the country, she went on to say, “My view on this stuff is I’m just trying to be myself, trying to be as authentic as I can be. I can’t pretend to be somebody else.”

Together, Michelle and Barack Obama are redefining what it means to be in partnership and marriage. They share parenting responsibilities, shun the patriarchal family structure in favor of a more egalitarian co-partner structure, and embrace each individual’s career ambition and success.

Are they the rule or the exception?

Like many of the fictional families mentioned above, some wonder if the Obamas are the rule or exception with regard to black family life. The answer is yes and no. Because we don’t often see successful black families and individuals in the media outside of entertainers or athletes, there is a strong tendency to believe that the Obamas are an exception rather than the rule.

So, it is easier to believe that the majority of black men and women are closer to stereotypes parodied in popular culture than to Barack and Michelle. To boot, black celebrities such as Bill Cosby have taken to lecturing young black men and women on responsibility and values. This is not to say that baby mama drama is not equally real, but to say that it’s a bit more complicated than critics of the current state of the black family are making it out to be.

The truth of the matter is that Black families come in many different shapes and vary according to income, geographic location, and familial structure. Sometimes a paternity test is in order, maybe just not in public. Perhaps two blue-collar workers with kids who consider taking a bus trip to Atlantic City romantic are the black middle class. There is no one rule or an exception.

There is no doubt that the Obamas are redefining black love for not only African-Americans, but for whites as well. Only time will tell if they will be cast as the exception, or allow us a real opportunity to re-imagine the American Family.

Dr. C. Nicole Mason is the Executive Director of the Women of Color Policy Network at the Wagner School of Public Service at New York University.